The Colbert Report's week of shows from Iraq started out with a bang last night. Along with a crowd of hundreds of rowdy soldiers, the show featured appearances from John McCain and Barack Obama. But that's not where the similarities to my honeymoon end. The show capped off with Stephen going high and tight courtesy of General Ray Odierno.
Get a look at Stephen's new haircut after the jump.
You may have watched last night's Colbert Report from Iraq, but you probably haven't seen these photos from the taping yet. Looking at these is just like being at the taping and then getting really drunk so you only remember a few single frames of it.
The Daily Show's Josh Gad talks about the differences between the chats and the field pieces, "That [field piece] process was a lot of fun for me, because I got to be very influential in the conception, execution, and editing." [The Apiary]
Bobb'e J. Thompson, from Human Giant and Role Models, wants a Bar Mitzvah so he can collect the gifts and cash. Little does he know he will also be gifted with horn-rimmed glasses and a neurotic demeanor. [Aziz is Bored]
Important breaking news! Zach Galifianakis' penis from The Hangover was a dildo, not his real penis. You can now return to your regularly scheduled link reading. [Cinema Blend]
Judd Apatow takes over for Amy Sedaris regular Believer advice column this month, presumably so she can take some time off to sew giant clothe vaginas. [The Believer]
Mike Birbiglia talks about himself talking about himself, "Sometimes I’ll say to my producer before I walk onstage… 'I'll see you in a couple hours. I’ve got to go talk about myself onstage for an hour and a half.'" [NY Mag]
The Lonely Island's Akiva Schaffer may direct Jonah Hill's feature film screenplay. Although Justin Timberlake will not be credited, he will pop up in about 96% of the scenes. [/film]
Usually this site celebrates stand-up comedy in all it's forms, but, honestly, Glenn Beck should quit doing comedy and just stick to what he does best; calling Obama a socialist planning to imprison conservatives in cages made of hemp. [NY Times]
Ken Jeong has quickly gone from upstanding member of the medical community to crazy comedic actor who ran around naked in The Hangover. Dreams do come true! [LA Times]
David Cross made an appearance in a UK Funny or Die video, representing America by eating a piece of a McDonald's bag. If he was a real American, he would have eaten the whole thing, plus the park bench they are sitting on. [Funny or Die UK]
Eugene Mirman's gives an amazing high school commencement speech, "The main difference for you, between life yesterday and life tomorrow, is you can go to the bathroom whenever you want… you’ve earned it!" Watch it after the jump.
This morning we showed you some photos of Stephen Colbert in Iraq. Now we've got an advanced glimpse of the first Iraqi episode of The Colbert Report, which will air tonight at 11:30pm / 10:30c. I believe this image depicts Stephen receiving one of the Army's famous shiatsu scalp massages.
The net is always gossiping about the latest in wireless gadgetry. But what about the phones that ushered in the web-enabled mobile devices of today? We decided to give them each their own, special review. This is: The 10 Worst Cell Phones of All Time.
Remember that Motorola StarTAC that everyone loved in the 90s until the antenna broke? The Pantech PN-218 reminds me of that, except it was made in 2007. It has the same crappy antenna also.
This is a phone that you get for free by signing a contract and nobody would ever choose it for any other reason.
But here's what sets it apart — it features a "mirror" on the outside. Since when is a shiny piece of black plastic a mirror? I might as well look at my reflection in a puddle of motor oil in an alleyway.
For the first time in his presidency, Barack Obama has hit zero.
Wow! That sounds amazingly likely. I wonder what kind of math they used to come up with that not-at-all bullshit calculation…
The Rasmussen Reports' daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Friday showed that 34 percent of Americans "strongly approve" of President Obama's job performance, but for the first time, 34 percent also "strongly disapprove."
Hmmmm… Let's see… 34 minus 34… equals, um… Zero!
Well, the math checks out. It appears that the president's existential being has been sucked into a theoretical vortex of quantum mechanical statistics.
On Friday's Tonight Show, Patton Oswalt was on and, to the best of my knowledge, busted out his parenting material on TV for the first time.
This video is cool because it's good for weeding out the regular Patton fans from the Patton super-fans. If you're just a regular fan, you watch it and think, "Patton is so funny. I hope when I'm a parent, I'm just like him."
But if you're a super-fan you think, "Patton is so funny. I wish I was his baby. And I'm not talking about adoption. I wish Patton Oswalt could grow a womb where I could live, subsisting solely on nourishment fed to me through a tube that connects us. Then, after nine months, I would emerge from Patton's loins, coated in vernix and embodying pure, unfettered innocence. Then he'd breastfeed me and coach my t-ball team. Just your basic super-fan stuff."
Ever since ER bowed, TV has been devoid of Greek gods like John Stamos. Naturally, I've been rooting for him to make a big comeback, but sadly, I am not sure if a Full House movie is the way to go…
[John Stamos] tells the New York Daily News, "I'm working on a movie idea, but it wouldn't be us playing us… it would probably take place in the first few years. I see Steve Carell as Danny Tanner and Tracy Morgan as Joey Gladstone…"
Listen, John Stamos, let's talk mano-a-weird-blogger-kiddo. America is 100% on board with a Full House TV movie using the original cast. Why not just follow through on that instead?
But the actor has dashed hopes of fans desperate to see the original cast reunited on the small screen. He adds, "I don't see it happening anytime soon…"
I guess the Olsen twins are too busy now that they spend all day designing red shoes to go with the red paint splattered all over their fur coats, but that's no reason to pour your heart and soul into something that probably won't work.
Full House was meant as a safe alternative to Bill Cosby's overly suggestive sweater choices. There's no shame in that, but that squeaky clean style has simply fallen out of favor outside of fun nostalgia.
You have a pretty stable career now, Stamos. Both Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly would have sex with you if they were chicks. That's a great legacy. Let Jesse Katsopolis live in our memories.
I also noticed you only mentioned who you want to play Danny Tanner and Joey Gladstone, but you didn't say anything about Jesse. Are you squeezing a film role out of this or are you holding out for Shia Labeouf?
The first Colbert Report from Iraq will air tonight at 11:30pm / 10:30c, but we've just gotten our hands on some photos of Stephen that ought to hold you over in the meantime. For more photos, check Colbert Nation and Facebook.
The Hangover finally comes out today, which means after this weekend everyone from your mom to your douchebag neighbor is going to know what you and I have known for years: Zach Galifianakis is the greatest bearded man to ever live. Here's a video mashup featuring some of Zach's finest moments.